"Serial" Offenses

The Whole World -- at least, those of you who have been paying attention -- know that I love, love, LOVE old-fashioned serial damsel-in-distress deathtraps.  Littered along this blog are my meager artistic attempts to recreate them.

Alas, the old Serials never ended quite the way I wanted them to end, so I thought I'd try my hand at it.

Hay, it's hot in here!

Those Wicked Foremen will get you, every time!

The Romantic in me

I have to admit, I'm such a romantic. I have a penchant for Damsels in Distress, of course ... but I really, really LOVE Damsels in Peril! Lethal, Gruesome, Horrifying Peril! ... ... with still a chance, to escape, or to be rescued, just in that last-split-second nick of time! I haven't posted a lot, but I have been busy. Here are a few of my latest attempts at portraying my favorite fantasy situations. All of these little vignettes tell their own story (I've captioned them in other forums with my own) ... but, here, I'll let the viewer's imagination take them wherever they want to go. :)

Boy, it's been quite a while, hasn't it? I'd almost forgotten this place was here. Don't worry, I haven't changed my evil ways, I had just been exploring other interests, ... like, for instance, food, clothing, shelter, you know, real-life stuff. But, I haven't put my ropes and duct tape away, by any means! I thought I'd drop a couple of peril images in, just to get my feet wet again. (Where have all the Heroes gone? LOL!

More Than Just a Hat Rack

Presently, I am completing a roleplay in which The Villain (that would be me) has lured a SuperHeroine into an erotic deathtrap, to wit: I am about to turn her into 100 lbs. (more or less) of fresh kibbles and bits. I thought I had planned it well, and the execution was generally pretty good (nothing ever comes off 100% the way you intend). But, as she lay (not-so) helplessly bound and gagged on my Conveyor Belt of Doom, the heroine demonstrated a glaring, almost embarrassing flaw in my plan. (It was the first time I had played with this Heroine. So, in keeping with my usual approach, I wanted to plant a couple of seeds which she could use to *germinate* her way out of the grisly fate I had planned for her. What she found, however, resulted from a simple oversight on my part.)

The point is that this is a Heroine who is well-known for using her wit, intelligence and (dare I say?) heroic humanity to extricate herself from all manner of predicaments. And, as it happens, sometimes, ... we Villains like it that way!

Now, I have nothing against a damsel who, when faced with her ultimate fate, searches in vain for her own way out. I can mercilessly gloat, twirl my moustache, and flourish my cape with the best of them when it comes to a poor, sobbing creature waiting helplessly for spinning wheels or slashing blades to end her miserable existence. But, there is something about a Victim who refuses to be a Victim: The lady who, despite all odds, manages to defeat a Bad Guy's best-laid plans for untold riches, world domination, or just plain ol' revenge. That would be the Damsel who uses her determination, as well as her head, to save the day.

A few months ago I re-acquired a cherished comic book panel of Mary Batson (Marvel Girl). She was about to squashed like an unpeeled grape at the hands of a Villain named the Owl, in the final panel of a comic story, which was (naturally) to be continued in the next issue. The situation looked hopeless; not knowing how the issue would be resolved, I assumed that there would be some kind of comic-book Deus ex Machina that would pull Mary out of harm's way.

Well, just a couple of days ago, I ran into the first few panels of what must be the next issue. Okay, maybe some of you guys had seen this before, but I hadn't, and I was impressed. Mary Batson recognized the mere sliver of an opportunity, seized upon it, and Shazam! (well, actually, that would come after she got the gag off, but, you know what I mean).

And, that, in turn, reminded me of one of my favorite clips from an old Italian movie, "Il Vecino di Casa", from 1973*. Readers of this blog would be familiar with this scene

http://s269.photobucket.com/albums/jj46/ripps429/?action=view&current=xmtIlAXsrfM.flv

where Laura Belli (Heroine) lies B&G while the Villain goes to prepare dirt-enclosed resting places for her and her boyfriend. I always admire the determination of Ms. Belli's character in practically willing herself across the floor to lock the Villain out of the house in an heroic attempt to save their lives. Again, the situation looked hopeless, and she could have spent five minutes on film sobbing helplessly into her gag (It probably would have sucked to look at, but she was bound and gagged, so I have to admit, I wouldn't have minded it).

But, as in the other cases mentioned above, the Heroine had an active mind, kept her wits about her, and used her spunk and determination to throw obstacles in the way, and in some cases defeat the Villain.

And, as The Bad Guy, I have to say (grudgingly), ... I kind of like that.

--- The 'evil' TRU

*NOTE: I've had the Italian clip so long that I've forgotten from where I obtained it originally. As with anything posted on this blog, I try to credit it. If you recognize where this came from, drop a line so that it can be properly acknowledged. If anything on here is yours, and you object, it will be deleted immediately upon request, no questions asked. -- The Management (er, that would be Me, again. *g*)

Cyrkle Jerked

This Golden Oldie (or, if you prefer, Musty Dusty) was smokin' the charts back in 1966. I thought I would dust this number off, 43 years later, and dedicate it to the late, unlamented social networking site Yahoo 360, which closes down (good riddance!) this weekend. It seems oddly appropriate for the occasion.

Performed by 'Cyrkle':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOxLaHPPzzw

Lyrics by Paul Simon:

http://www.lyricsbox.com/cyrkle-lyrics-red-rubber-ball-846qcx3.html

D.i.D. Entertainment

(in character)

We at TRU Industries, Inc., are proud to announce the launch of our new Film and Media Unit -- D.i.D. Productions!

D.i.D. Productions will specialize in updated Damsels in Distress dramatic entertainment. We have identified a severely under-represented niche market in the mature entertainment field, regarding comely damsels, dastardly villains, perilous situations, and the occasional stupid dashing hero. D.i.D. Productions will deliver time-tested thrills, chills, and excitement to discerning audiences, tired of the bland fare offered in today's modern entertainment.

Furthermore, we'd like to announce our first film production coup -- D.i.D has recently landed the White Owl! That's right, Queen City's own SuperStarHeroine has (more or less) consented to lend her services to one of our first original productions, entitled: "Operation: Snowbird!"

Filming has already begun on location in Queen City, Space City, and everywhere in between. Plot details will remain secret, but we expect that the feather-flying, beak-grinding, surprise (for her) ending will keep audiences buzzing, long after they've left the theater!

Other titles already in production include the recently-completed "Hazards of Housesitting" and its sequel, "The Training of Ellie", starring veteran DiD-er Ellie (Girl) S.; "The Secret of the Submarine," featuring everyone's favorite sea-faring snooper, Emma L.; and, "Training Jessica" (working title), introducing an exciting new personality to the world of DiD, Jessica Jeopardy!

The formation of D.i.D Productions promises a proud and exciting new chapter, in the history of DiD entertainment! Keep your eyes on this space, for further details, as developments warrant.




--- Press Release
D.i.D. Entertainment Company
Film and Media Subsidiary Unit of TRU Industries, Inc.
Released Sunday, May 17, 2009